nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
