I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize