quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you had me at cake vodka
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
