Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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