Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
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We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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