It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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