I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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