I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
