ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
