She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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