We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
