Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
