Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I cut my penus on the lid.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
