i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
