My room smells like vodka and shame
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
