i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
