just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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