I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
