someone get that fucking seahorse.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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