listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
