Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
