I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
