i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
