Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
