Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
