they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
