You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just had sex on a roof
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
