Im at strip club and am horny
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
