I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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