Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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