i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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