I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Two words: blizzard sex
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
