Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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