I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
