FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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