she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
