All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
