Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
