We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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