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• (585): View more from New York

  I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?

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• (713): View more from Texas

  if only i could text you this smell

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Found the puke drawer

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys

  (703): View more from Virginia

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!

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