not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
