Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
