Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
