? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
