i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
