Taylor Swift is so right about you.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
