I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
