I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
