I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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