tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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