And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
