Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
