she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
