Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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