I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
