I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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