he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
