she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
