Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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