Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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