She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
